Day 309 - And I am Telling You

While the power of this song comes through the singer who performs it, there is a depth in the lyrics themselves that can speak without the passion in a voice.  One of my all-time favorite songs...

"And I am telling you, I'm not going.  You're the best man I'll ever know.  There's no way I can ever go.

No, no, there's no way.  No, no, no, no way I'm living without you.  I'm not living without you. I don't wanna be free.  I'm staying, I'm staying, and you, and you, you're gonna love me."  She starts the song declaring that she isn't going anywhere.  The man she is singing to is the best man she's ever met, and she feels that she won't meet one better, so she is refusing to leave.  When you've found the best, you do what you can to keep it or stay with it.  She doesn't see leaving or being without him as a possibility or an option.  She is refusing to live without him.  She doesn't want to be free of him, and she refuses to budge.  She even says that he is going to love her, and that's it. 
"And I am telling you, I'm not going.  Even though the rough times are showing - there's just no way, there's no way.  We're part of the same place, we're part of the same time.  We both share the same blood, we both have the same mind.  And time and time, we've had so much to see and No, no, no, no, no, no way.  I'm not waking up tomorrow morning and finding that there's nobody there."  Once again, she says she's not going.  Even though things are currently not looking wonderful and they are experiencing difficulties, she still doesn't see the need to let things end.  She says they have too much in common and they have shared too much to let things end.  Besides, she doesn't want to lose the company that he provides, waking up beside one another day by day.  She doesn't want to be by herself, and she doesn't want to be without him.
"Please don't go away from me.  Stay with me stay with me.  Stay, stay and hold me.  Stay, stay and hold me.  Please stay and hold me, Mr. Man.  Try it mister, try it mister. I know, I know, I know you can."  At this point, she is essentially pleading with him to stay.  She has nothing to lose, and she is putting herself all the way out there, asking him to remain with her.  She knows that the decision is his to make, and she is praying that he will make it in her favor.
"Tear down the mountains. Yell, scream and shout! You can say what you want, I'm not walking out.  Stop all the rivers!  Push, strike and kill - I'm not gonna leave you, there's no way I will."  It seems in this portion that she is saying that it matters not what happens - she has no plans of leaving.  If he wants to go, he can, but she is going to stay, and she wants so badly for him to stay and love her. 

Admittedly, while I love the power of this song, I do have to wonder if there is a point at which you have to let go.  Eventually (in the movie) she does, but in looking at the lyrics, it looks as if she may be bordering on desperation and the willingness to take/endure anything in order to be with him....  Makes me wonder...

Day 308 - He Heals Me

Upon listening to the first couple lines of this song today, I could feel my heart smiling....  In my mind, relationships are at their best when they help you to heal in some way from the pain and hurt and issues of the past.  Often relationships take from us, so it is a beautiful experience when one is able to give and pour back into you.  One of my favorite song lyrics ever is "Your healing is in me; my healing is in you" by MJB.  This song sums that up in such a beautiful way...
"He heals me - told him my biggest secret and he told me four. He smiled at me and said that makes me love more.  And then he made me laugh and I knew it was a sign that he was a man that I wanted in my life, and with every passing day, I feel more and more that way."  There seems to be a great deal of trust and vulnerability and care in this relationship.  She is open and is open in return - as it should be.  And the fact that they are able to share in such a way deepens the love that they already have.  But not only do they have those deep, life-sharing, open-heart moments, but they can also laugh and simply enjoy each other's company.  This speaks to a balanced relationship and friendship that allows all of a person to be part of the relationship and feel comfortable in the shared space. 
"He heals me.  He knows the real me and he accepts me, he never hurts me.  He heals me.  He knows the real me and he accepts me, he never hurts me.  He heals me, he heals me."  The chorus is simple - she is acknowledging the things that he does for her.  He brings healing to her life, he sees the real, authentic her and he accepts her just as she is.  And he never takes advantage of what he knows and hurts her.  Now, this may not seem like much, but when you've been hurt before, it can mean the world to have to someone who knows you and doesn't reject and who cares enough to love you and care for you and even bring healing to the wounded parts of yourself that you have dared to expose to them (and even some that you haven't).
"I can play him songs, all through the night, and he will listen to every line.  And even when I'm wrong, he is still kind.  He chooses his words wisely when he tells me I'm not right.  And yes he is a beautiful man, but he is also a beautiful friend."  As an artist myself, it can be interesting to share my work with someone, so it says much that she can share her art.  And the fact that he will patiently, lovingly listen speaks volumes as well.  He respects her enough to be truthful with her, but he also cares enough to be kind in his truth and correction.  That is the sign of a true friend.
"The moment that we met, he made me smile.  He has so much compassion in his eyes.  I have no idea, how long he'll be here - a season or a lifetime, forever or a year.  But for the first time in my life I'm not worried about the future, because we have such a wonderful time when we're together.  However things turn out, it's all right, cuz he's already changed my life."  There are times when we meet someone, and we know right away that the person will profoundly impact our lives, and for her, he appears to be one of those people.  She can just see the care and love in his eyes, which is probably part of what initially drew her in.  She doesn't know if they are meant to be together forever, but she isn't concerned about that.  Because of the beauty of what they share, she is happily able to receive what it is for the time being.  Even if things shift tomorrow, he has already impacted her life in such a powerful, healing way, it wouldn't matter.  It might hurt to lose him, but she acknowledges that he may simply be there in a seasonal capacity to bring about a very necessary healing in her life.

Day 307 - Never Let You Go

I used to LOVE this song back in the day... Pandora brought it back to my attention today, and I just had to blog about it. (On a completely unrelated side note, I like the color of her hair in this video.  I wonder if they have that color in a box at Wal-Mart...)
"If I had one wish, boy, I'd wish you next to me.  And it could be in summer, fall or spring, boy, cuz you make my heart sing.  I wanna give my heart, my soul, my love to you, o baby, cuz every day I'm not with you,  I'm missing you like crazy."  The singer makes it clear that what she wants is this man to be by her side in all seasons and at all times.  Why?  Because he touches her in such a way that her inner being busts into song.  In response, she wants to give all of who she is and what she has to him, further strengthening him.  And in the times when they have to be apart, she misses him terribly, and I can imagine that she is eagerly awaiting the moment when they will be reunited. 
"I need for you to love me, hold me, touch me down deep in my soul.  Never let it go cuz the love we share, no one compares to you.  I'll never let you go cuz I really love you so.  I'll never let you go, oh no."  The chorus expresses her need to be connected to him.  She is not afraid to express her needs, saying that she wants to be loved and held and touched beyond her body.  She has undoubtedly experienced love before, but nothing in her life has affected her as this does, so she has no desire to be without him, because she loves him dearly.  She will not let him go as long as it is in her power to remain connected to him.
"You must know the truth, boy - I'm nothing without you.  Now I know what people mean, boy, when it's too good to be true.  Because you give me joy, good love, good times, such happiness. And every day I thank the Lord for you, I feel so blessed."  She is willing to be open and vulnerable enough to share how much she feels she needs him, expressing her dependence on him.  Granted, this seems a bit strong for me, because I'm of the opinion that we should all be able to stand on our own in general, I understand that her sentiment is a feeling of incompleteness and longing without him in her life, and I can appreciate that.  She now understands what people mean when they talk about something being too good to be true, because he seems amazingly wonderful, and she may at times ponder if someone so awesome could really exist and love her this way, giving her so much joy and so many good things.  She thanks God daily, appreciating that such a love could only have a divine origin, and she feels as though God especially created this man and this love for her as a way to bless and enrich her life.
"If you only knew what you really do - ain't never had no one that does it quite like you do. You could spend half a lifetime trying to find one like you.  That's why I am so glad I found you.  I wished upon a star and it came true.  Darling, I need for you to..."  As she ends the song, she is expressing that the man should loves probably has no idea how much he really does for her, and she is convinced that no one else could love her this way.  People spend their lives looking for what she has been blessed and honored to find.  She sought Heaven itself for a love that would complement her life and touch on all levels, and she now has it.

Day 306 - Friendship and Insecurities

Now, for the most part, I like my blogs to be things that I have written, but when I read this email this morning, I just knew that it was something I needed to share...  It resonated with me, and I think it will resonate with some of you as well...

The Trials of Friendship Melissa Taylor

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother in born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17 (NIV)

When I asked "Paula" if she could get together Thursday evening she declined. She and her mother already had plans.

A little while later I called "Dana" to see if she could hang out Thursday. You can imagine my shock when she said, "Sorry, I'm going to a dinner party at Paula's. You're not invited?"

Ouch! I couldn't help but wonder why Paula felt she could not be honest with me. Dana said the party was small and Paula probably didn't want to hurt my feelings. I understood, but being left out and lied to really hurt.

An uncomfortable knot sat in my stomach as I struggled with whether I should approach Paula or not.

We'd come to a crossroads in our friendship. I wanted to tell her, "It's okay you didn't invite me to your party but you didn't have to lie to me. And I forgive you, because 'a friend loves at all times.'" But I was too afraid.

At times like this, I follow my mom's advice. "When you don't know what to do, that's your cue to pray." God reminded me that when a "friend loves at all times" it means we believe the best about each other and work through problems.

Despite both my mom's and God's wisdom, I'm sad to say I decided to just let it go; I was too fearful to caringly confront my friend.

Paula called me a few weeks later. She felt bad for lying to me, apologized and explained the dinner party. I also apologized for not confronting her. I should have known our friendship was stronger than my fears.

We ended up laughing about our insecurities, and ourselves, because we knew we loved each other and wouldn't intentionally hurt one another. She should have been honest and I should've been brave enough to ask her about it.

Lying isn't supposed to be a part of friendship, but neither is fear. Every relationship will have its share of trials and mishaps. But it should also have its share of believing the best in each other and forgiveness.

When obstacles that aren't dealt with come between two people, they can eat at our hearts, little by little. When we allow it to build up over time, our enemy will use it to divide us.

Perhaps the Lord is prompting you to tell the truth to a friend you've not been honest with. Or maybe you're the one who's been told a lie. Scripture tells us, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18 NIV 1984). Whether telling the truth, or confronting a lie, it rests upon us to do whatever possible to reconcile with our friend.

You may be on the other end of a confession or confrontation that was not well received. I'm so sorry. I know it's painful to lose a friend. But we can rest assured, that once we've done our part, the Lord will continue to do His and heal the wound left.

If you're at a crossroads now, wondering if you should confess or caringly confront, may I encourage you to pray and take the next step? I am so glad Paula called me. What we have is too good to allow hurt feelings and misunderstandings to ruin it.

God's Word tells us "a friend loves at all times." That may not always be easy, but in the end, it's worth it. In fact, I can honestly say our friendship is now even stronger than it was before.

Day 305 - What Love Requires

"Love can be hard. Love requires you to be kind when you are angry, patient when you feel anxious, compassionate when you judge others, caring when you feel apathetic, trust when you've been wronged, let go when you want to hold on, know that the other person is you, take risks when you're scared, to always see the lesson and never look back once you've decided."  - Jackson Kiddard

As I sat with this quotation for a bit, I recognize the depths that it really touches in talking about love.  I'm gonna take this piece by piece.  

Love can be hard - dear God, yes.  As beautiful and wonderful as it can be, it can also provide challenges and difficult moments that will make you wonder if it is worth it. 

Love requires you to be kind when you are angry - love makes it possible (and even necessary) to find a bit of grace when your emotions are swelling and your blood is boiling.  Reacting out of anger will almost never result in a positive, loving outcome, so while your current space may be one of negativity, love will ask you to take a moment to pause and cool off or think before responding.  Love may even look like taking a time-out away from the situation in order to be able to return to the situation with kindness.  

Patient when you feel anxious - much of life has the ability to make us feel crazy or nervous, especially in the vulnerable spaces of relationship.  But when you are assured of love, you can more easily be at ease with situations, even when they don't look as you desire.  You can stand in that love even in the midst of something that would normally have you shaking in your boots.

Compassionate when you judge others - while we typically think of judgment in a negative capacity, I tend to think of it more along this definition of it: "to infer, think, or hold as an opinion."  In this sense, we judge everyone, making an assessment based on what we see, perceive, or know.  Well, when love enters the picture, we may see something, but it will cause us to interpret and react/relate to what we see in a way that is more understanding of where someone is.  For example, you may be dealing with someone who is outwardly loud and rude and attitudinal, but love will cause you to look a little bit closer and see that person with the compassion that shows you that their behavior stems from insecurity and not from that person just being mean and hateful. It will not only help you to see them more clearly, but it will help you to treat them based on the inner need for healing as opposed to the external behavior.

Caring when you feel apathetic - there are times in life and relationships when you get to a point of being tired and frustrated, and when that goes on for a period of time, it can lead to indifference and apathy in a situation you feel like may not change.  But when love is involved, it can push you to continue to care and continue to work at things when you no longer really have the drive to.  Love is like the 2nd wind that we sometimes need to help us make it through.

Trust when you've been wronged - this is a big one.  I am willing to bet that every person alive has been hurt/wronged in some way that has made them less trusting, even to a small degree.  When this happens, it can be very hard to trust again, especially depending on the the level of hurt/wrong that you have endured.  Whether you are relating to the same person who hurt you or someone new, the fear is that it will happen again and that you will be hurt again.  But when love enters the picture and we can trust love, then we can stand in the face of "evidence" and decide to trust/love again.

Let go when you want to hold on - now, this one may seem a bit contradictory, but it's true.  There are times when you want to hold on to someone/something for your own needs and desires, but sometimes it is best to let them go.  It's been said that "if you want something, let it go.  If it comes back to you, then it's yours."  When you desire to hold something like that, you are more so doing it out of fear.  But if you are willing to let it simply be and go as it should, then you might be surprised what happens.  Real love will give you the power to be willing to let go when need be.

Know that the other person is you - as much as we like to separate ourselves and say that we are different, there are reflections and glimmers of all of us in everyone.  When you think about how to treat others, think of their heart as yours, and treat them better than you want to be treated.

Take risks when you're scared - fear can be a powerful thing, and it can interfere so deeply with love and life.  But when you feel loved, you are motivated to take risks and venture out, even in the midst of feeling the fear.  Love will push and challenge you, and it will give you the heart to try, because you recognize that the benefits of love are worth the risk of the fear.

To always see the lesson - when we look at things through the lens of love, we can see both the negatives and the positives as areas of growth.  Even if things hurt or are hard, we don't have to become bitter from those experiences.  Love has wisdom enough to show you that even the mess that you deal with can bring about positive change if you allow it to.  You just have to be open and willing to see what there is to learn in any given situation.

Never look back once you've decided - when you make a choice, especially the choice to love, it is very easy to second guess yourself, especially if things don't line up perfectly or there are still questions.  But when you can rest in the strength of real love, there is no need to second guess.  Things will not be perfect and there will be some bumps in the road, but when you take the step of faith to fully immerse yourself into what love has for you, you will never be the same, especially when it's the right time, space, and person for you.  And as the previous one said, even if that love is only to be in your life that way for a season, you will learn and grow in the experience.  But you will never know what it is to find that one until you are willing to let go and be fully present in the space of love.  Make your decision and go forth, growing in trust with every step you take.  There will always be reasons to doubt and question, but that's no reason not to go for it.  And doubts don't make the love any less real, but allowing those doubts to change your mind/heart will complicate your relationship.  Let love focus you forward.

Day 304 - That's How Strong My Love Is

I haven't heard this song in ages, but somehow, iTunes has a way of bringing things back to my remembrance.  And since I might be in a semi-emotional mood, this song works pretty well. 

"Some people they call me crazy for falling in love with you. Well, they can take me and lock me away baby, cuz there's nothing those bars can do.  I'll be the rising moon after the setting sun just to let you know you'll always have someone. I'll be the clearest day when the rain is done so you'll always know..."  At times, we can find ourselves in relationships or having love interests that don't make sense to other people.  It's been said that you can't pick who you fall in love with, and I think that's true to some degree.  And what looks like craziness, foolishness, even stupidity on your part may be nothing more than your heart reaching for what it needs and what has been set in place just for you.  So people's comments and concerns, even the walls of a mental institution, cannot stop the love that resides in your heart.  Though you appreciate the concern, sometimes nothing can be said or done to deter you, even if you wanted to.  Now, given the real life context of Ms Keys' relational situation at the time, there may be some reason for outside commentary, but as I said, the heart doesn't tend to be bound by things like laws or even other people's relationships.  I'm not justifying anything, but I do know that the heart wants what it wants.  The singer is letting her loved one know that just like the moon is there when the sun leaves to provide light, she will always be available to bring light and comfort into his life.  And she will be the clear, blue skies after the rain to encourage him and let him know that he is not alone, especially after he has gone through a storm.

"Through the shake of an earthquake, I will never fall. That's how strong my love is.  Like a ship through the storm, we can risk it all.  That's how strong my love is."  The chorus is a show of strength.  She says that through an earthquake, her love will stand - she can't be shaken by outside forces.  And when they go together, their love can withstand a storm.  Even though risk is involved in their going into the storm, their love is such that it can survive a storm and not fall apart when faced with adversity.

"I used to feel kinda lonely, cuz the world it can be so fake.  All that matters I'm telling you is you and me only and the fortress from love we'd make. I'll be the water you need in the desert land just to let you know you'll always have my hand.  I'll be the woman you need to be a better man so you'll always know..."  In life and in love, it can be hard to find someone who is real that you can share yourself and your life with.  When you find that person or those people, you tend to want to hold on to them, because they make life so much easier to get through.  For her, she has decided that the thing that matters most now is the space of love that they share, because it helps her to not have that lonely, isolated feeling.  Because of what they share, she is willing to be and provide what he needs to survive, thrive, and grow as a way of showing her love.

"Oh, can't nothing break us down, o, cuz we are heaven bound. Like the mountain standing tall, immovable, we're here to stay.  O, can't nothing get in the way." At this point in the song, we see that it is not just her love that is strong, but we see that their shared love is indestructible.  It can't be broken, moved, or removed, because they are destined to be together, and their love is the stuff of heaven.  So no matter what they may face, they need not fear their love ending.

"Through the deepest waters, I won't let you drown - that's how strong my love is.  Cuz we're the moon in the sky that will never come down - that's how strong my love is."  Even though life can sometimes be overwhelming, she is right by his side, and she will do her best to help him and keep him from going under, because her love is just great for him.  Together, they are like the moon that has its place in the sky and will not be moved.  Even when the sun blocks it or they experience a new moon where it might not be visible, the moon is still there, just like their love.

Day 303 - He Loves Me

I have always loved this song (and Jill Scott).  And as I thinking about love the other day, I realized that most love songs talk about the love that the singer has for their partner.  This song talks about love from the perspective of the receiver of said love.  I think that's a beautiful thing, because while I'm definitely a giver, there is great beauty in being given back to (and being willing/able to receive).  So yay for not only giving love but to getting it as well.

"You love me especially different.  Every time, you keep me on my feet happily excited by your cologne, your hands, your smile, your intelligence.  You woo me, you court me, you tease me, you please me.  You school me, give me things to think about.  Invite me, you ignite me, co-write me, you love me, you like me.  Incite me to chorus." She recognizes that she is loved, but not only is she loved, she's loved in a different way.  This love keeps her excited, and everything he does or has seems to be part of the wonderful essence that is him.  All these things contribute to the pleasure and bring her excitement.  He pursues her and seeks to build respectful relationship with her, but at the same time, he is not afraid to bring her pleasure and take care of her whole person - mind, body, emotions, etc.  He is inviting, giving her the space to open up and feel comfortable.  He also sparks something in her as he even helps to encourage and shape the person she is becoming.  He loves her, but he also likes her - there is romantic affection, but there is also friendship and care. 

"You're different and special.  You're different and special in every way imaginable.  You love me from my hair follicles to my toenails.  You got me feeling like the breeze, easy and free and lovely and new.  O, when you touch me, I just can't control it.  When you touch me, I just can't hold it. The emotion inside of me, I can feel it."  She acknowledges that the love he shares with her is not a run-of-the-mill type of love, and he is not your average man.  He is unique and to be cherished.  He is different, and this may be because he was crafted specifically to fit her in ways that others could not.  He loves every part of her, and he makes her feel free and uninhibited.  It takes a strong love to make someone feel that way, especially when so many people are afraid of love and opening up.  And then when he touches her, it's like the love is personified in the touch, and she can't contain the depth of what she feels.  The way that they connect affects the whole of her being.  She is loved.

Day 302 - I Have Nothing

This song was in my head the other day, so I figured I should blog about it....

"Share my life - take me for what I am, cuz I'll never change all my colors for you.  Take my love, I'll never ask for too much, just all that you are and everything that you do."  The singer is asking someone who is obviously significant to her to share their life with her.  Yet, even in their sharing life, she is saying that she is not willing to compromise all of who she understands herself to be just to be in said relationship.  She offers all of her love, asking in turn for the whole of the person she is giving herself to.  In my mind, this seems a fair exchange - all of me for all of you.

"I don't really need to look very much further.  I don't wanna have to go where you don't follow.  I won't hold it back again, this passion inside.  I can't run from myself.  There's no where to hide.  But don't make me close one more door.  I don't wanna hurt anymore.  Stay in my arms if you dare, or must I imagine you there?  Don't walk away from me.  I have nothing, nothing, nothing if I don't have you."  She feels as if she may have found the one, and so she doesn't have to look anymore for someone to share her life with.  Yet, it seems she's taking a risk, because she feels unsure if the person will go through with things as she is.  But she recognizes what she feels, and for her, it is harder to hold back what she feels, so she must release it and share.  There is no denying and no hiding - this person is who she wants.  And because of that, she is asking this person not to be another lost love or to be another heartache in her life.  She is asking that the person will stay in her arms and her life, because having to long for love or pretend that it's there is just too much.  Why?  Because she feels she has nothing without them.  That is a powerful place to get to when you feel that you would have nothing if a particular person in your life leaves.  While I think in most cases, it is an exaggeration, I do believe that the sentiment is one of a deep connection that speaks to feeling like you need a person to be in your life. 

"You see through right to the heart of me.  You break down my walls with the strength of your love.  And I never knew a love like I've known it with you.  Will a memory survive - one I can hold onto?"  These have got to be my favorite lyrics of the song.  It is a powerful (and scary) thing when someone can see through you and knows you beyond the front that you put up.  This person has the ability to break through and touch the most vulnerable parts of her with the love he provides.  This is love like she has never experienced it, and she prays that it will last. 

Day 301 - Why I Love You So Much

Pandora does great work helping me find songs to blog about.  Enjoy this throwback that's full of love...

"You give me the world and everything that I want for.  Since I've been your girl, o my whole life has been much better than ever before.  You got a tender sweet love, yes you do that weakens me and takes over me whenever we touch."  The singer of this song is experiencing a wonderful relationship in which she is being provided/cared for and one that has improved the quality of her life.  Not only is there provision, but there is also affection, love, and care that affects her physically as well. 
"Baby that's just why I love you so much. Baby that's just why I can't get enough.  Baby that's just why I love you so much.  I love only you."  For these reasons, she finds herself deeply loving this one in her life.  She feels that she just can't get enough of him, because he is just so great, that she wants more and more.  And because of all this, her heart has been devoted to him.  There is no room for anyone else, because what he does and the love he gives is sufficient for her.
"Now you say that you're down.  Oh, you said you won't play around, no, no not with my heart.  And when your boys come around, no you're not disrespecting me and not trying to be Mr.-wanna-be-hard.  You let them know that I'm yours, yes you do, by holding me, and kissing me - lets them know that for sure." Not only does the man in her life show her love, but he is respectful and truthful.  He even loves her enough and has enough maturity to show affection in front of his friends - he has nothing to be ashamed of.  There is no question for her or his boys what the deal is, and this is, of course, an added bonus.  Everyone wants to know that the person they love will happily claim them, especially in front of their friends and other important people in their lives.
"You don't ever say I'm too young for you, baby.  I've been around enough to know enough to know just what I want.  You don't move too fast or make me rush.  No.  One day we're gonna talk about making love no doubt, baby when the time is right."  Though age can sometimes be a concern in relationship, he knows her well enough to know that her age is just a number when it comes to their love and relationship.  At the same time, he respects her desires and decisions.  He has not pressured her to do something that she is not prepared for - another great sign of respect.  Even emotionally, mentally, financially, and in other aspects, it's important to respect the space where your friend/partner is.  Pushing someone to do something before they are ready usually ends badly.  It's one thing to want to help someone grow, but it has to be an act of love and grace for them, not a push of impatience so that you can gain the benefit.
"Baby, no one else can do what you're doing to me.  You take me and you hold me.  You rock me in your arms, baby, and I love you for that, baby.  You don't front in front of your friends
and you're smart enough to be a real man, and I love you, and I love you, and I love you for that baby."  No one else in her life has loved her the way she is now being love.  He seems to be a mature man of character and care.  He shows love to her, and she has responded by loving him.