Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Day 247 - Her Heart



So, I rarely buy a song on iTunes after hearing it only once, but this one touched me so deeply when I heard it on Pandora that I had to buy it and listen to see why it was pulling on me so.  The second time I listened, I caught more of the words, especially in the chorus, and I found myself boohooing.  I mean, I was crying some real tears.  This shocked me – I had never had such a reaction to a song, and I wasn’t sure what it was that resonated so strongly, because I’m not in this situation.  Either way, the strong reaction let me know that I needed to do something with it, so here we go. 
“I had a habit of messing up – staying out late and getting drunk.  I let you down a thousand times – broken promises.  It’s like I ran away from you.  My career was my excuse, until I saw you bout to drown in your own tears.”  The singer appears to have been a less than great relationship partner.  He admits to essentially neglecting her, breaking promises, and even running from her.  While at first glance, he appears to just be a jerk, it appears that his actions may be due to fear and not lack of concern/care.  Using his career as his excuse, he sheltered himself while still keeping her around… until he saw the pain that she was in because of what he was doing (as made evident by her tears). 
“And as you cried you in my arms, you woke up my heart, and I saw again what I found in you.  Cuz her heart, her heart won’t let me lose her.  No matter how I try, I just can’t say good-bye and lose her.”  So as he held her and she cried, his heart was touched and even reawakened to the love that he had for her.  It was like seeing her again for the first time, experiencing that love for her anew.  He saw the depth and strength and care of her heart, and because of that, he is unable to let her go.  Her heart makes him unable to bear losing her.
“When all the folks were said and done, you were there to welcome me home.  I was convicted cuz your love never wavered.  I know you love me more than me, and you vowed to love through anything.  I never had the kind of love that was forever.”  At the end of it all, when the fans and groupies were gone, she was at home waiting for him.  He feels guilty for what he’s done and for treating her the way he has, because she has been faithful and consistent in loving him through it all.  He recognizes that her feelings for him are probably deeper than his for her, especially because she has promised to love him through his foolishness. And she has done so.  For him, this is a new thing.  He says he’s never had a forever love (which makes me wonder what he has been dealing with and calling it love), so he may still be adjusting and getting used to the idea of really having a love that will last and what that will mean.  Finding that kind of love is life-changing, because it has the ability to change how you act and how you view your life and yourself and other people.  It can be a lot to handle, especially when your previous experiences have been less than wonderful or when you aren’t yet mature enough to (want to) embrace it.
“Her love, her love won’t let me lose her.”  Yet, despite the difficulties and what it makes him face within himself, her love is so wonderful and life-affirming to him that he cannot let her go. 
Real love has a hold of finding us when we least expect it.  And its power is so deep and grand and all-consuming that we may find ourselves unwilling and unable to let it go when it presents itself.  There is nothing like it….


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