The first minute of this video clip is the crucial part. This was a comical movie about what it'd be like to be God, as I'm sure that at some point, we have all wanted to be God and make things happen in our lives. But this scene is one that touched me as I watched it, because it speaks to a depth true about real love. The conversation between God and Bruce goes as follows.
God: Come on. What do you really care about?
Bruce: Grace.
God: Grace. You want her back?
Bruce: No. I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now - through Your eyes.
God: Now THAT'S a prayer.
Here he is standing in the face of God, able to ask for anything in the world, and the thing he cares about the most in the world is the woman he loves. It wasn't getting a better job (something he'd been trying to do) or riches or fame - it was the connection and love of a woman who meant a great deal to him. And so he has the opportunity to ask for her back, because God clearly has the power to orchestrate things and place her back in his life. [How often do we ask God to or even place ourselves in the path of a person or a thing to make things happen?]
But the tremendous thing is that when God asks if he wants her back, he says "no." Now, is he saying that he doesn't want to be with her? No. He would happily have her back, but he knows that he has messed up, so he's unsure as to whether that will happen, and he doesn't want her forced or maneuvered into his life. He acknowledges that she deserves the best, and so he says, "I want her to be happy no matter what that means." He recognizes that he might not be the best for her, so he is willing to give her up. He says, "I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me." This is a big step. How many of us would be willing to love someone enough to let them good when we recognize that we cannot provide what they need. Many of us would desire to hold onto them because of what they do for us and because we want to be with them. In our selfishness in wanting what they provide for us, we hold on and typically do more harm to them.
Bruce has recognized that he couldn't love her as she deserved to be loved, so he prays that God will provide her with someone who can do that. He then says, "I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now - through Your eyes." This shows that Bruce has grown. He no longer just loves her for the sake of loving her or out of his own needs and desires. He has come to a way of relating to her that reflects a deeper understanding of Love. Since God is love, seeing someone through God's eyes enables us to see that person more as they are as opposed to what they mean to us or what we need from them. When you are willing to see the whole of a person, you are better able to discern that you may not be a good fit for them or how to better love and interact with them. You might discern that they need a friend more than they need a boyfriend/girlfriend at a given point. And when you love that person as they deserve, you can apply what you have discerned and act according to their needs despite the feelings that you may have for them. This is not to say that we will always need to back away in situations like this. It may mean that we have to change our mindsets/behaviors. We may need to re-prioritize or treat this person better. Whatever the case may be, love will typically inspire us to want to change something in order to make things better for all involved.
It is because Bruce came to this realization that God affirms him, saying that what he said, with his heart toward another person in the interest of Love, is prayer in the truest sense. I believe that this is the heart of love - when you can see enough into another person and into yourself to do what is best for them even when that is not what you desire to do.
*I should say as a note that we can sometimes feel that we are not worthy of the love/relationship we have with a person. This is not the feeling that I want you to act out of. Relationships have a way of healing and growing us if we let them. But what I am saying is that we have to be willing to let go of someone in order to truly love them. If you are not willing to even consider letting go of someone when you know that you could potentially hurt them with your actions/habits, then you have made that person your possession, and you don't actually love them. Again, this doesn't mean you have to leave them, because relationships are 2-way streets, and you should give the other person the consideration to decide if they want you in their lives. What I am saying is that, if in your own messy space, you don't have the thought or desire to release them out of concern for their health and heart, you may need to reconsider some things about how you see that person...
No comments:
Post a Comment