Day 327 - Prove It

"If you love someone, show it. Love is not a noun to be defined, but a verb to be acted out."
I saw this statement as a tweet the other day, and it made me think about numerous conversations I've had over the past few days.  I know of at least 4 relational situations where people have had to go from love as a noun to love as a verb.  What do I mean by that?  Well, love tends to be a warm and fuzzy noun when things are going pretty well - you spend time together, you click and vibe, there are no major disagreements, and things are just fun and cool.  But love has to become a verb things start shifting, when there are things like life changes, physical distance, personal crises, etc.  That's when love has to go beyond something you say because you think someone is cool to something that you show.
It's when things get real and you have to face the person you "love" in a less than ideal situation that you begin to figure out what love really looks like and whether you really love the person.  Another tweet that I saw said, "If love doesn’t require some sort of sacrifice on our part, we probably aren’t loving the person at all."  I think that this is very much true.  It's easy to say I love someone when everything is cool and great, but when the relationship begins to challenge me or it doesn't look exactly like I want it to, am I willing to make some sacrifice or compromise?  Am I willing to give a little on what I want/need in order to make things work or to help the other person?  In most of the situations I spoke about, there is a great need on the part of one of the parties to provide major support for the other as they face some life-changing event or phase of life.  Because this is the case, the "anchor" in the situation is finding some of his/her needs to be put on the back burner as they provide love and support for someone who is facing some thing(s) in life that are forever changing who they are.
This can be difficult to deal with, especially because such seasons tend to cause someone to be less than awesome as they are going through changes.  So combine some of your needs being pushed to the side with the person you love not fully acting like the person you love, and it's enough for anyone to chuck the deuces....  Yet they are choosing to stay and hold on.  Why?  Because for them, love is a verb.  It is what kicks in when the pleasantries and the "romance" has faded and the rubber meets the road.  It takes a strong person to be willing to make such sacrifices and love someone through their pain/difficulties.
As a writer, I've spent much time writing about love. That was what I set out to do with this blog.  But I've come to realize that, as much as I can write about love (and I will continue to do so), some things can only be experienced as you push through, as you make the choice to continue to hold someone in your heart and hand who is taking you through....  This is not to say that you should stand for abuse, but I am saying that there are times when your love for another has to cause you to push past what you think is comfortable in a relationship and do some real work to show what real love is.  And the beauty of this is that in the process, you grow as you get stronger in loving/helping them, and the love that you provide for them can bring healing to them in a tough space in their life.  So take a deep breath, pray, remain positive, and remain love is something you do, not just something you say.