Pandora once again found me a selection that I like and that resonates with where I am. I was talking to one of my sisters, and she was saying that she could see the growth.... So much has been going on I have been feeling the growth myself, and though there is always more to be done, I'm glad for what I have experienced thus far and the long way that I have come. Confidence is so key...
"I'm wiser now. I'm not the foolish girl you used to know so long ago. I'm stronger now - I've learned from my mistakes which way to go, and I should know. I put myself aside to do it your way, but now I need to do it all alone." After having gone through life and been essentially guided or controlled by someone who thought they knew better, the singer has come to a point where she has grown and matured. While she may have needed guidance before, she no longer does. She's decided that she is done trying to please whoever else, and she is now going to strike out on her own, trying things her way and living her own life and destiny. She will no longer put herself aside for someone else's expectations, needs, or desires.
"And I am not afraid to try it on my own. I don't care if I'm right or wrong. I'll live my life the way I feel. No matter what I'll keep it real, you know. Time for me to do it on my own." So she has determined that she is going to try things on her own, without the guidance, help, control, or whatever else this other person may have been providing. She's not concerned so much about making mistakes; she just wants the satisfaction of knowing that she is doing it on her own terms and in a way that is authentic to her. If she messes up, she will have no one to blame but herself, but she will also know that it was her decision and be able to more fully learn from it. In order to find her real self, she has to be able to operate in a space that will allow that self to emerge.
"It's over now - I can't go back to living through your eyes, too many lies. And if you don't know by now, I can't go back to being someone else, not anymore. I never had a chance to do things my way, so now it's time for me to take control." She refuses to go back to living for someone else. Doing so caused her to lie to herself and to others, and she has decided that she has to break free of such bondage and be herself. She can no longer fit someone else's mold or expectations. Her entire life has been orchestrated and programmed and shaped by others, but now she is taking the reins and plotting her own course.
"I start again, go back to one, I'm running things my way. Can't stop me now, I've just begun. Don't even think about it, there ain't no way about it. I'm taking names, though one is mine. Yes I'm gonna take my turn. It's time for me to finally stand alone, stand alone." She's cleaning her own slate, starting afresh to begin her own life. She is determined to do this, and there will be no deterring her. She is calling people out and making them accountable, herself included. She is stepping up to the plate and doing things as she sees fit.
While it can be scary to take that step into independence and full authenticity as you take the lead in your own life, if you never do so, you will miss so much. Whether it's a spouse/significant other, a boss, a parent, a friend, or even your own fear that keeps you from realizing your full personhood, it's time to take steps forward to live a life that is authentically yours.
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