Day 337- The Side Effects of Love

Do you feel like your life could use a boost? Is your heart longing for something that it just can’t seem to find in the material things that you’ve worked so hard to get? Looking to feel truly happy and fulfilled? Maybe Love can help. Love, when applied first to the self and then given to and received from others has the ability to heal past scars and provide strength and inspiration for life. It can make life and everyday trials more bearable, providing great joy for those who use as directed. (Possible side effects include butterflies in the stomach, rose-colored vision, nausea, heartbreak, crying, loss of or increased appetite, anger, bitterness, desire to shut off emotions, emotional detachment, use/abuse of others, and the same things that were done to you.) See what love can do for you. I have been thinking about doing these two entries for a few days now, but since Sunday is coming and I have to preach, I’ve been a little busy. Yet, the more I try to focus on that, the more this keeps coming back, so I’ve decided to be obedient to my soul and write what has been pressing on me. Admittedly, these have been some of the hardest entries for me to write. It’s not hard because of the subject matter – it’s hard because of the life experience I’ve had to experience that have shaped and necessitated it. It’s hard because of the tears I’ve had to cry (and even those I shed as I write this), the times I wanted to shut off my heart and my emotions, the moments when I wanted to do anything but feel the love that tends to flow so easily and freely from the core of my being… Now, if you’ve read my blog for any amount of time, you have probably picked up on the fact that love is the most beautiful thing in existence to me. I will always and forever advocate for love as the greatest healing force and the most important thing to have, give, and practice in life. I think that we should all seek and live in and be intentional about love, because it is the only thing that matters in the end. I believe that real love in its purest form is the only hope we have for making things in this world better. Unfortunately, because of a lack of love, insecurities, fear, pain, and other oppositional forces, love doesn’t always have the best reputation and it finds its name associated with things that are not at all part of its nature. Rather, these are the side effects of love in our imperfect world. Anyone who has ever loved anyone (including themselves) has experienced some sort of heartbreak. Whether it is because you were abused, lied to, cheated on, betrayed, rejected, teased, manipulated, used, led on, or any number of things that people do to others, you have experienced a moment where there was some pain associated with love in your life. This doesn’t just happen in romantic relationships, but it happens in family relationships, friendships, acquaintances, and even with total strangers. Even if the love was for self and someone else rejected you, it calls into question the love of self and can lead to self-doubt and self-hatred. So every time we allow our hearts to venture beyond their comfortable space in our chest and in the relative safety of our souls, we risk finding love, but also risk experiencing the side effects that can come as a result of trying love. Like with any medicine, though healing is the intended purpose, there is unfortunately a chance that some negative things may happen as a result. And the list of side effects is by no means exhaustive. Misused love can cause “irreparable” damage in ways that can’t even be articulated. So then why try? Because, like Mariah Carey, “I still believe someday you and me will find ourselves in love again.” Despite the pain that we often find when dealing with loving imperfect people, we all ultimately know that we need love and that there is no greater feeling than loving and being loved. And so we hold to that tiny shred, unable to completely obliterate the memory of that moment (however brief) when we really felt loved, and we seek that our entire lives. Even when we try to avoid it or say we don’t need it, we know that deep down, our souls cry for it, and we won’t be completely satisfied until we find it…. Of course, I’m not one to talk about a problem without offering a solution, so the next entry will deal with finding healing…