For me at this place in my life, the most important human relationship I have right now is that of my sisters. I have tended to be something of a loner, having between 1 and 3 actual friends at a time. Even then, friendships have always been interesting for me, and I wasn’t necessarily a fan of females, because the media (and some of my experience) portrayed women as less than desirable creatures to have relationships with – ultra girly, catty, competitive, emotional, etc. So, I tended to stay away from females if I could help it.
Well, when I got to UVA for undergrad, I was amazed to have a group of sisters dropped in my lap. It blew my mind that a group of young women my age would be willing to love on and embrace me. While I’m grateful for my little brother, I’d never had sisters, and I was always curious as to that relationship, and so to have it on such a large scale was slightly unreal. And to know that these ladies all cared for me when I still was figuring out who I was and that I should care about myself was unbelievable. I didn't believe that I deserved to be loved just as I was, so I did everything I could to earn the love that I was being given. They were the first people to tell me that I didn't have to do things to be loved - WHAT?!
But there was something about being connected to a group of women who could pray and laugh and talk and sing and dance and share together.... We all varied in age and life experience, but we had God and love (and UVA) in common, and there was a bond that (to me) was unreal. And there was a level of trust and depth and openness I found with them that I'd never seen previously. They were the beginning of me coming out of the very thick shell around my heart.
Then, when I graduated from UVA, I figured that sisterhood would be mainly a memory. Of course I remain in contact with my sisters from UVA, but I didn't expect another group of sisters. Well, God continues to surprise me, knowing exactly what I need when I need it. I've had various groups of sisters since then, and even now, I'm blessed to have a group of sisters who are... beyond words. I think that as we grow, we gain friends who match where we are currently and where we are going, and this most recent group of ladies is truly a divine appointment. Because seminary has been such a life-changing experience, they can relate with where I am now, and this is beautiful to me.
Why am I sharing all of this? Because I am realizing more and more how important female friendship is, not just for me but for females in general. This is not about male-bashing but about appreciating the beauty and uniqueness that is female relationship. There is just something that I can experience and share with my sisters that, for various reasons, cannot be found in friendships with males. Despite the messages of the media that can "trivialize women's friendships," making them appear "predictably shallow, neurotic, one-dimensional," I say that there is a deep richness in sisterhood, especially in community with a group of sisters. I have been more than blessed to experience this community in various places, and I pray that God blesses everyone with a group of sisters or brothers in which they can love and grow. This does, of course, mean being open and vulnerable in order to experience the beauty that is true connection, but it is so worth it. Love you all!
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