Day 284 - Should v. Is

I was talking to my best friend, and we were talking about the way things look in her relational situation.  Even though she knows that he is ultimately the man she is going to marry, she has trouble believing it at times, because, as she says, “it doesn’t look like I think it should.”  I almost laughed out loud.  What I have come to learn, in life and especially in relationships, is that things rarely look the way we think they SHOULD, how people tell us they SHOULD, how movies/tv say they SHOULD, etc.  I said to her, “People say what they think things should be, but God makes it what it is.”  I’ve come to realize that we limit ourselves because we are so limited in our thinking of the way things SHOULD be.  We say things like “anything is possible,” but we don’t live as if we believe that in the least.  We quote the scripture that says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts,” but then we try to say what can and cannot be based on our experience, our understanding, our perception, etc.  But where did we get these ideas of the way things need to function in order to be “right”?  It wasn’t God, because God tells us that nothing is impossible with God.  It must be other people’s understandings, interpretations, experiences, fears, and desires that cause them to limit what they think we SHOULD expect life to look like. 
Because “should,” “ought,” and “must” are basically equivalent, when we think that things SHOULD look a certain way, we feel like things are wrong if they do not look that way.  But we have to let go of the mindset that just because something doesn’t look good or even necessarily feel good that this automatically means that God is not in it or that it is not the Divine Will for your life.  While it would be ideal if life were more smooth and predictable and easy and looked the way we desired it to, the truth of the matter is that this is simply not the case.  We never know all of what is behind the scenes and moving in the background.  So while we might want something to happen a certain way at a certain time, we have no idea what is being prevented or caused by the way things are actually working. 
For example, my friend desires that she and her friend be happily together right now, hand-in-hand, skipping through the tulips in a beautiful romantic relationship.  Yet, for various reasons, that is not currently the case.  But what I can see is that she is growing in trust for God and what God is saying to her.  And I believe that her friend is being grown and prepared in a similar fashion.  If they were together at this current moment, things might not work out as beautifully as they are supposed.  After all, timing is everything.  If they get together in a time when they both still have tremendous growing to do, they may do more harm than good to one another in the process or prolong the process of getting to the place of relationship that they are destined to achieve. 
So just because something doesn’t look the way people (or even you) think it SHOULD doesn’t mean it’s not exactly what is supposed to be.  And just because something does look like you think it SHOULD doesn’t mean it’s what you need.  Follow your heart and your discernment, and where you find a sense of peace (despite what things might appear to be), that is where you will find where you were meant to be.  Don’t let other people’s perceptions or your own fears keep you from your destiny.  Be wise, but be brave too.