Day 208 - Understood

“I didn’t wanna be understood, because I think it made me feel vulnerable to be understood.”  -“What Not to Wear” contestant

Understand = “to be thoroughly familiar with; apprehend clearly the character, nature, or subtleties of.”  Being understood is a deep thing.  It’s one thing for someone to kinda know you, but for someone to know you enough to understand you is a serious thing that can be intense.  And when you have been accustomed to hiding or being less than open, then opening up enough for someone to know and understand you can be a terrifying thought.  This is especially true if you don’t think that who you really are is worth knowing and loving or if who you are isn’t traditionally acceptable. 

Being open enough to be understood makes you extremely vulnerable.  It means that you are allowing someone to get super close to you.  They are not only getting to know you, but they are hearing/seeing what makes you tick such that they can understand why you do what you do.  Like with open-heart surgery, you have to cut your chest open to get to the heart.  It takes work and may cause pain and pushing part fear, but without a properly functioning heart, the body doesn’t work properly and death can be the result.  So while it can be a hard thing, being understood can help with being truly loved (and is probably a little bit necessary).  And if you can trust someone enough to open up to them so that they can understand you, then real relationship can be had, and isn’t that the goal?  :)

Of course, many of us have experiences that are less than pleasing with opening up, and so we avoid it when possible.  Being that open  is scary enough, but when we have a history of our openness being taken advantage of and used against us, it can severely limit our desire to be open to that possibility again.  We'd rather live in a shell without any real connection than to endure the pain and the heartache that come with such betrayals.  And this is understandable, because to be betrayed or used at your deepest levels can be a life-altering experience.  But the beauty of living through such an event is that you live through it and have the ability to get stronger in areas of discernment and endurance.  True, it sucks to get hurt, but there is always a risk in relationship.  But when the risk pays off and you find a person or persons to really love and understand you... there's nothing like it in the world.  And I believe that kind of complete connection is what the Divine desires for us, both with Itself and with other people.  Because those moments can make you truly feel alive.  

So if you have the opportunity, begin to trust yourself and open up to others.  I know that I sometimes think I'm fairly complex and would keep myself from others fearing that they wouldn't understand... but that's because I wasn't allowing them to.  And of course, since some of my friends have great discernment, they had some help in understanding me...  But either way, letting people in will not be the end of the world, and being understood could be just the beginning of some great things.  Go for it.