Day 217 - How to Love

While I tend to be on the fence about some of Lil Wayne’s content (even though I love his lyrical creativity), this song was quite mind-blowing to me. It is not only positive and affirming, but it isn’t all about drugs and money and sex, so I appreciated that. Though it is interesting to hear Lil Wayne “sing,” I appreciate the mellow vibe of the song. Makes you really lay back and listen, taking in the words I’ve been meaning to do this song since I first heard it a while back, but I’m finally sitting down and getting to it. Enjoy.

“You had a lot of crooks tryna steal your heart. Never really had luck, couldn’t ever figure out how to love, how to love. You had a lot of moments that didn’t last forever, now you in the corner tryna put together how to love, how to love. For a second you were here. Why you over there? It’s hard not to stare. The way you moving your body like you never had a love, never had a love.” The chorus is a good start for the song. He starts off by saying that the person he’s addressing has had some tough times with love and relationship. The person’s heart has been the target of “crooks,” who are presumably people who didn’t have good intentions for it or the person attached to it. And because of these experiences of mistreatment, misfortune, and possibility turned to disappointment, the concept of real love has never been grasped. This seems to lead to introspection, because the desire for love has not disappeared despite the negative experiences. It seems to me that the person he’s talking to may be a stripper (or at the very least, a girl dancing at a club). He seems to be saying that she moves as if sex is the only thing that matters, and there is no emotional involvement in what she is doing, especially since her previous experience may have influenced her to hide her emotions. Even when her body is one place, her mind can be far away, thinking about what she wants/needs but cannot seem to find. “When you was just a youngen, your looks were so precious. But now you’re grown up – so fly, it’s like a blessing, but you can’t have a man look at you for 5 seconds without you being insecure. You never credit yourself, so when you got older, it seems like you came back 10 times over. Now you’re sitting here in this damn corner looking through all your thoughts and looking over your shoulder.” When the young lady in question was younger, she was cute, and she’s grown into a beautiful young lady. This may have attracted the attention of the crooks (men who pursued her exterior for their pleasure without concern for her heart), and it has affected her as she was looking for love and received hurt instead. With this kind of pattern (and the lack of true affirmation within herself), she may have come to believe that she’s not worth much beyond her looks, since that’s what her experiences and relationships have shown her. She’s become self-conscious when men look at her, assuming that they are only looking at her body to take from her. Having dealt with this for years, she has become a lady who wants love but who constantly feels the need to protect herself – hence the looking over her shoulder. But the contrast that I always find amazing is that while she’s trying to protect herself (see http://thelovelyyear.blogspot.com/2011/08/day-211-brick-walls.html to understand how the protection can manifest, because though the woman in the song appears shy, there are other ways of protecting self), she is still reaching out for love. For me, this speaks to the depth of need for love that the human heart possesses despite the scars and hurts that we encounter along the way. I’ve discovered that even those who verbally resist love have a desire deep down to have love – they just want love that is true. Admittedly, I have been one such person, but I have come to understand that love does exist and that it is all around – I just can’t be scared to receive it when it does come. Am I weary of crooks? Yes, but I thank God for discernment and the internal strength God has given me to be selective with those who I allow into my internal space.
“You had a lot of dreams that transformed to visions. The fact you saw the world affected all your decisions, but it wasn’t your fault, wasn’t in your intentions to be the one here talking or me, be the one listening. But I admire popping bottles and dipping just as much as you admire bartending and stripping. Baby, so don’t be mad, nobody else tripping. You seen a lot of crooks and the crooks still crooked.” Sometimes life happens to us in ways that alter our perception and actions, causing us to end up in places that we didn’t envision for ourselves. Despite this fact, life can still turn out alright or even turn around, making some great lemonade out of sour lemons. The important thing is finding the revelation of self-love, even if you happen to be a stripper or a famous rapper. This also shows that we can learn life lessons in the most unexpected places, so we always have to be open for what life will bring us. “Oooh, see I just want you to know that you deserve the best. You’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. And I want you to know, you’re far from the usual, far from the usual.” This may be my favorite part of the song. Lil Wayne, who previously put out a song called “Every Girl,” which essentially made women into sexual objects to be added to his list of things to do, is taking time to tell a woman who has dealt with issues of insecurity and heartbreak that she is beautiful and unique and that she deserves real love and care.
I want to take it a step further and say that everyone, man or woman is beautiful and unique in his/her own way and is fully deserving of real love. I challenge you to look at yourself and where you stand in regards to love. Do you see it as an unattainable entity that experience has told you that you don’t deserve? If so, realize that there have probably been some crooks in your life that didn’t deserve the beauty that was you and who hurt you. Don’t allow them to continue to be a reflection of how you see yourself. Just because they didn’t recognize your beauty doesn’t mean it isn’t there – they just may be blind. You may have never figured out how to love, but today is a good day to start. And let your heart do most of the teaching.