I was talking to a friend who recently got into a relationship, and she said something over and over that struck me – “he’s just not what I expected.” Now, I feel like I should clarify before you get concerned (because admittedly I was too – I thought my friend might be settling or disappointed). She was telling me that she had a list of things she wanted in a perfect mate and how seemed to be the opposite of most of the times that she had imagined. You know the list I’m talking about – it’s the one that we all have and tend to pull out when we meet someone who has potential, comparing their traits with the checklist. Well, at first I thought her statement was odd, but as we talked further, I began to see. Her list wasn’t full of superficial items like has to be 6’2 and make at least $100K a year, but the things that her list entailed have been… reimagined in her new friend.
For instance, she wanted an intelligent man, but she had always imagined this intelligence to be in the form of higher degrees of education. Instead, he brings intelligence in street smarts and in being well-read despite not having more than an Associate’s degree. She wanted a strong man, but she had always imagined this strength as muscles on his arms. Instead, he brings strength in his emotional support and presence in her life, which helps her feel more secure than any bodyguard.
So am I saying to throw away your list? No. Does this mean that you should compromise those things that are important to you? Not necessarily. What I am saying is that your mind has to be open to what life has to offer in a way that you may not expect You may have preferences or things that you think you need, but the One who created is a far better judge of what you need and loves you enough to send it to you. You just have to be open enough to receive the gold if it comes wrapped in aluminum foil.
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