- Love is beautiful – with all of the things I’ve seen, felt, and experienced in the days, weeks, and months since I first began this blog in January of last year, this is one thing that I will continue to maintain and believe. Yes, there can be deep pain associated with love, but despite that, we continue pursuing and hoping for it (even after we swear it off and hide our hearts and all other such things). That is because love (with all its warts and complications) is the most beautiful thing on earth. It has powers far greater than we will ever understand, and when we find it, especially in a reciprocal sense, even for just a fleeting moment, we know that it’s right and that we want it in our lives forever. It has the ability to provide us with strength, to help us heal, to help us grow/change, to pick us up when we’re down, and so much more. Take a second and think back to a moment when you felt loved… Without a doubt, it is a happy feeling. Even if the relationship has changed or things are different, you will likely remember that feeling for a long time, because the feeling of being loved is a basic need for human beings. With all I’ve gone through, I will always maintain that love is beautiful.
- The work of relationship is hard – because of the nature of human beings, interacting with us can be a bit of a puzzle. You are not just interacting with the person in front of you – you are interacting with their childhood, their past relationships and experiences, their neuroses, their personality (or personalities), and many things that aren’t visible on the surface. Since this is the case, and since many of us are in some way simply trying to protect our hearts even as we venture into relationship with others, relationships can be a maze and a careful dance in which we seek to find both ourselves and them, sharing hearts and space along the way. In order for a relationship to work and to be one in which both parties grow and feel loved and respected, both people have to be willing to be honest and put in the effort necessary to make things flow. No matter what kind of relationship it is, there must be some exploration of the self in relation to others and the other in relation to self. Things like patience, honest communication, courage, commitment, humility, consideration, discernment, and a willingness to be vulnerable are necessities when attempting to engage in any sort of meaningful, personal relationship. In any relationship, even in business, these things should be applied in order to create a safer space for interaction that will hopefully allow for smoother interacting.
- Without love for self, love for others will never be healthy or
fulfilling – until I have the ability to appreciate myself and take care of
myself, there is no way I can do these things for others without getting
angry. I will want what I’m giving, and
even if the other person does a great job of loving me back, it will never be
enough. So I need to have my own love
for myself. This way, even if I give
love to someone and they don’t give it back, I won’t be depending on them and
left feeling empty and angry. I spent
years trying to earn love by doing for others, and I remember getting mad when
they didn’t give back. This is because I
was seeking love as opposed to being/living from love. And don’t get me started on the insecurities
and jealousy that characterized my insides because I was so concerned that I
wasn’t enough and that someone’s love for me could be taken by someone
else. Because I didn’t know my own
worth, I looked to others to tell me what it was, and when their opinion
changed, so did mine. It wasn’t until I
began to love myself and be myself that I could even start to see how awesome I
am and realize that I deserve love just because of who I am. If someone is unable to see that, it is their
loss.
- Life opens up when you do - as this Crest slogan says, one of the most important things in life is to be able to open up. When you are able to be open, allowing yourself to have a mind for new possibilities, you allow yourself to receive more than you might expect. This might mean being vulnerable, it might mean doing things you've never done before, it mean letting go of some preconceived notions or ideas. But when you are willing to see things a different way, share more of yourself, or receive more of someone else, life will present you with more opportunities. Very often in life, we miss things that could be significant because we are looking for something else or we are distracted by the “important” things in life. But if we take the time to be open to all of what life and love have to offer, we might find ourselves pleasantly surprised by what we receive. The things that you don't expect or even like at first can be the greatest blessings. And things that seem insignificant might become the most life-changing things or events ever. That's why it's important to pay attention and listen in each moment.
- Love is a worthwhile investment - even though love takes work and it can end in pain, it ultimately pays greater dividends. It takes much effort and can take you out of your comfort zone and change your whole world... but as I started these bullets by saying, love is beautiful. It may take many years and many tries before you ultimately find the person you're meant to be with, but along the way, you learn and discover the beauty that is love. There will be ups and downs, but I believe it is worth it. Even though I have met with heartbreak and hurt and the like, the love I have found in those experiences is something that I will cherish for the rest of my life. All that was given was not wasted, it was invested. And the returns may not be a "forever" as you may have desired, but there has been some benefit and growth if you look.
When I started this journey, I was younger, more naive, much more bound, and admittedly a wee bit more optimistic. Now, don't get me wrong - I still tend to lean toward the bright side, but my optimism has been tempered with a bit more realism. I still believe that love is the greatest force on earth with the power to change our lives if we let it. So as this blog comes to an end, let love be what guides you. Push past fear and be open to what life has to offer.
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