Now, I have never watched the Simpsons for life advice or for anything other than entertainment, but there was a line from the latest episode that spoke to me, so I had to write about it. Homer found a tv sitcom from the 80s that showed the typical cheesy tv family dynamic. He was choking Bart as usual, and the father from the sitcom appeared in a thought bubble above his head and says, "a good father is strong enough that he doesn't need to use his strength. What Bart needs is for you to strangle him with your love." Homer ponders it and says, "I never thought of fatherhood as something that could affect a kid."
Now while this is a humorous statement that could only come out of a character like Homer (or Peter from Family Guy), the truth of the matter is that a lot of parents (and people in general in relationships) probably live in a way that reflects this. Everything that we do as a person makes a difference in the lives of those around us. If I am an incomplete person who needs constant affection and affirmation, as a parent, I may seek to be my child's friend when I should be parenting them, and this will most likely lead to boundary issues for my child. If I am an alcoholic or addict, my habit will show itself more important than my child and cause my child to feel unimportant and lead to self esteem issues.
What I'm saying is that sometimes the best way to show love to others is to love yourself. Even if you're not a parent, the things you do to/for yourself will affect those you are in relationship with. I know from personal experience that my insecurities can cause issues in my friendships, which is why I'm working to grow and change. It's impossible to love someone else in a whole, healing way if I can't do that for myself...
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