"There is a secret about human love that is commonly overlooked: Receiving it is much more scary and threatening than giving it. How many times in your life have you been unable to let in someone's love or even pushed it away? Much as we proclaim the wish to be truly loved, we are often afraid of that, and so find it difficult to open to love or let it all the way in." - John Welwood
I have often found this to be true. I was telling some of my friends the other day that I used to have a hard time receiving love. In my life, this came from not really feeling all that loved. Because I didn't for so long, it was hard to believe that people would really love me. Therefore, I had no idea how to receive it when people tried to give me actual love, and really, I didn't believe that I deserved it. I began to fight that battle in undergrad, and there are still times when I find myself cringing or uncomfortable with certain displays and notions of love. What I had to realize is that I am worthy of love - not because of things I do or achievements I have but simply because I exist. When I allow myself to realize and embrace the fact that my very being entitles me to be loved, then I can receive love without feeling the need to earn it. The problem is when people make you earn love - then it is not love. Real love is not conditional or performance-based.
Another reason that receiving love is hard is the vulnerability it requires. In order to receive love, your heart has to be open, just like receiving a ball requires your hand to be open to catch it. And opening your heart in any way always presents the risk of pain entering, and many people live their lives doing all they can to avoid pain, because pain has become so intrinsic to our reality. This fear keeps the heart closed, so even when it is swimming in love, it cannot receive it.
Be open and realize that you deserve to be loved. Then, take the time to receive the love and let it heal the hurts that plague you. Start with finding love from yourself...
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