Thursday, February 10, 2011

Day 34 - Fall For Your Type



When I first heard this song, I thought... really?  And, of course, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it can definitely be true, and I know numerous people who have found themselves saying something similar.  Now there are many reasons that people find themselves in patterns and repeated places, and I'm gonna explore a few of them.
  • "Can I, can I save you from you, cause you know there's something missing?"  There are some good-hearted people who desire to save people from themselves.  Unfortunately, this rarely works, because unless they recognize a problem and want to be saved, your efforts will mean almost nothing.  So, if you look for people you can 'save,' yet you get frustrated when you can't save them, maybe you need to rethink your approach.  Not everyone is aware that they are trying to 'save' others, so let me help.  If you take on someone as a project, if you "see their potential," if you "know they will get their life together soon," or if you know that you can be the one to change them, then you most likely are the "savior" type.  You should probably evaluate why you feel the need to be the savior (may speak to some feelings of inadequacy or may come from growing up as a savior to your family).  Now, no one is perfect, so every person you meet will have issues.  Some issues are better suited to be dealt with by professionals, and some issues are things that couples can work through together, but you should never enter a relationship (friendship or otherwise) to fix someone else.
  • "Look, dress hanging off your shoulder, barely sober, telling me how you movin away and startin over. Girl quit playing - you just drunk, you just saying s**t. Oh you dance, dance like how, like ballet and s**t?"  Note to readers: if someone is drunk when you meet them, that is probably not the best way to start a relationship, esp if it is the sloppy drunk kind where her dress is hanging off of her shoulder.  Just because someone is attractive does not mean that you have to try to pick them up.  She's just told you that she's a drinker and stripper.  I'm not going to judge strippers, but I will say that she's most likely not going to change either of these things for you, so these are early red flags....  Pay attention to signs.  Don't let someone's sex appeal get in the way of your good judgment.  And have enough respect for yourself to know that you deserve better.
  • "But how you supposed to find the one when anyone will come with you?"  Just because anyone will come home with you doesn't mean you should take them.  In fact, you should probably steer clear of the ones who will just come home with you.  If you're trying to find "the one," then your standards would ideally be a little higher than any cute person who will pay you some attention.  Now, as celebrities, these guys probably have women throwing themselves, but most of them are not looking for quality relationship.  Again - STANDARDS. 
  • Note from the video: you most likely always fall for the same type because you keep looking for the same type of woman.  If you meet her at a bar, club, or party, then she will probably in some ways resemble what you are used to.  If she has to be the hottest girl in the place (i.e. skinny, red bone, long hair, 4' heels, tiny skirt, cleavage for days, etc), then she may resemble what you are used to.  I'm not saying that every attractive person is crazy, but if you always look for the same thing, your results will not vary.  
  • "Falling in love" is dangerous business, and that is its own separate entry, but I will say that you are in control of the situation, so choose wisely.

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