So, I was doing some reflecting last night after prayer time with my sisters, and I thought about the fact that I'm personally in an interesting place when it comes to the whole love thing. Then, as I thought further, I realized that I may not be alone in some of my feelings. As much as I have been writing this blog and spending time thinking about love and relationships, I've realized that most people are actually in a place of searching for love. What I talk about sounds beautiful and wonderful, but the reality of life is that love is not as simple as we'd like it to be. I mean, the reason I started writing this blog was because I saw the problems that people were having when dealing with love and I wanted to provide some wisdom and help.
To be transparent and give you some more idea where my thought process came from, I have to go back a bit. A few weeks ago, I met a guy online, and we talked/hung out for a couple weeks. While it was a brief time, I enjoyed it greatly. As I talked about with love languages, he was an affectionate sort, which made for a beautiful time, because I got all the physical touch that I could ever need. Since it had been 2 years since I'd been in an actual relationship, it was splendid to feel that kind of care again. Now, in that 2 years, I'd had some interactions and I'd even had a great relationship with my best friend, but to have something reciprocated in such a way was life-changing, especially since I've been experiencing some major emotional healing in the last few months.
Needless to say, this has been a very interesting time for me. And as I reflected on all of this, I realized that I am searching for love, as are most people in the world. While I am beautifully blessed with some amazing friends and sisters, there is an element and dimension of love that they simply cannot provide. Because of that, I find myself in a place of tenderness. I find myself desiring and searching for love even when I'm not trying to. And it doesn't always help that I do a daily blog about love, because it makes me think a lot about the subject and even my desire for it, especially when I see examples of love like those of my two friends (http://thelovelyyear.blogspot.com/2011/02/day-42-example-of-real-love.html).
And while part of me feels a sense of mourning, because the loneliness can be a bit much at times, I am intentional about finding and creating hope. In my search for love, I have found more about myself than I ever anticipated. I have learned what I want/need, like/dislike, and even how relationships affect me. As I search for love, I have time to discover my part of the love that will one day be. As I wait to be swept off my feet and embraced by a beautiful caring equal who can complement the whole person I'm becoming, I learn to appreciate the beauty and uniqueness that is me. It's not easy to feel like I'm by myself at times, desiring the care and covering that I once felt, but I know that all things happen in time and as they should, and I trust God to provide things as necessary.
So, as you search for love (whether you're in a relationship or not, because some people still search for love when they are within a relationship, and that might mean that the relationship should be re-evaluated), take solace in the fact that love has many forms. Cherish the time you have to love and pamper and take care of yourself, because with a romantic relationship, energy and time must be devoted to someone else. Enjoy the time with friends and family, because they can be a steady safe space when romantic love isn't available. And know that you are growing as you live each day. I know the journey from brokenness and incomplete love to full, holistic love is a challenging one that can include pain, vulnerability, and risk, but it also brings welcome benefits and beauty. Even in my last interaction, though it has ended, the time that we shared blessed me and created more openness for my heart and a new hope in which I can move forward and seek Love like never before. :)
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