Day 256 - Burn

Burn So, this song has been in my head and following me around for a few days. I figure I’m supposed to blog about it, so here goes. “I don’t understand why. See, it’s burning me to hold onto this. I know this is something I gotta do, but don’t mean I want to. What I’m trying to say is that I love you. I just, I feel like this is coming to an end, and it’s better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you. I gotta let it burn.” Usher starts the song by speaking, tell the person who he is with that he feels that their relationship is slipping away and coming to an end. Because of this, he feels that he needs to end the relationship rather than continuing to drag things on and hurt her further in the future. Thus, he feels that has to let the relationship burn – rather than trying to rescue it from the fire of hard times, he will simply let it be consumed. “It’s gon burn for me to say this, but it’s coming from my heart. It’s been a long time coming, but we done been fell apart. I really wanna work out it, but I don’t think you’re gonna change. I do but you don’t think it’s best we go our separate ways. Tell me why I should stay in this relationship when I’m hurting, baby. I ain’t happy, baby. Plus there’s so many other things I gotta deal with. I think that you should let it burn.” While this is a difficult thing to say and do, he feels that the relationship is headed toward its end. While he would like to work things out, he doesn’t see that happening realistically, so he thinks it’s best (those she doesn’t) to let it go. The relationship is causing him pain and not making him pain, and he says that this justifies his desire to leave. Not only that, but the rest of his life has pressing matters for him to deal with, so this will be one less thing on his plate. He thinks that she should agree with his assessment and let it go as well. “When the feeling ain’t the same in your body, don’t want to but you know, gotta let it go cuz the party ain’t jumping like it used to. Even though this might bruise you – let it burn, let it burn, gotta let it burn. Deep down, you know it’s best for yourself but you hate the thought of her being with someone else. But you know that it’s over – we knew it was through – let it burn, let it burn, gotta let it burn.” Although it seems like the last thing you wanna do, the feelings have changed and things have faded. While it may hurt, you know deep down that it’s the best thing for self-preservation. While the thought of the person you love with someone else is a painful thought, you don’t feel that you can hold on, and you have felt for a while that it was over, even when you continued to hold on, probably going through the motions. “Sending pages I ain’t supposed to, got somebody here, but I want you. Cuz the feeling ain’t the same – find myself calling her your name. Ladies, tell me do you understand, and all my fellas, do you feel my pain? It’s the way I feel. I know I made a mistake, now it’s too late – I know she ain’t coming back. What I gotta do now to get my shorty back? Man, I don’t know what I’m gonna do without my boo. You’ve been gone for too long – it’s been fifty-leven days, umpteen hours, Imma be burning till you return.” So once the relationship has dissolved and they have parted ways, the artist is attempting to build relationship and move on with someone else… but it’s not working. He misses what he had with his previous love, even to the point that he calls the new girl by her name. He reaches out to his listening audience, asking if they can relate to the pain that he feels at the mistake he’s made. Though he felt that he should let it burn, he now says that this is not what he wanted. But he feels that it’s too late, wondering how and if it’s even possible to get her back. He’s upset without her, feeling like an eternity without her. Now the burning that previously applied to the relationship has become his longing to be back with her. “I’m twisted cuz one side of me’s telling me that I need to move on. On the other side, I wanna break down cry. So many days, so many hours – I’m still burning till you return.” He’s conflicted. He knows he needs to move on, especially if she will no longer be part of his life. On the other hand, this is a heart-breaking prospect, and he is undoubtedly filled with regret for pushing to end things as he did. Now, while I will agree that there are times when you have to do what’s best for yourself despite what the other person might feel – self-love is critical – I’m also of the understanding that a relationship is two people. I have a difficult time with people going off into their corner or their thought cave to figure out how the relationship should go, then coming out and laying down their mandate. It’s important to be able to think things through on your own, but in my mind, that should lead to a conversation where both sides share feelings and perspectives, deciding together how to proceed. So the artist deciding (then pushing his to friend) to let it burn seems a bit unfair. I can’t speak to the circumstances of their relationship, but I am a fan of at least attempting to work things out, especially when there is deep love involved. But I do understand and appreciate letting go if things are painfully unhealthy and harmful to life and self. It is regrettable that he did not appreciate what he had until it was gone. It seems that he gave up too easily and later realized just how good he had it. That’s why it’s important to take your time in making relationship decisions, whether this is to come together or to break apart. Don’t let one bad day end things, and don’t let one good day make you walk down the aisle. You don’t want to live with regret because you jumped too soon into or out or something.