Day 271 - Exhale

For some reason, I started thinking about the movie “Waiting to Exhale” today, and I began to wonder about what it means to exhale. And why are people waiting to do it? I watched a few clips from the movie, and I was quickly reminded of the plot and relational struggles of the main characters. The women in the movie were searching for a relationship in which they could feel loved and fulfilled, but they all dealt with unfortunate circumstances which made it hard to really believe in love and the possibility of anything resembling a “happily ever after.” Like the women in this movie, I believe that most people who have encountered any sort of romantic relationship are doing the same thing – holding their breath. They enter into relationships and romantic situations holding back much of who they are and what is close to them. This is because they have been hurt before and refuse to trust themselves to people and/or circumstances that will do the same again. As the saying goes, “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” So people look at love as something of a foe to be subdued and worked into submission, working hard not to be outsmarted or harmed by love as they traverse the dating scene. Relaxation and comfort aren’t typically things that are associated with love because of the trials that most people endure in the name of love. Hence why the world is full of people waiting to exhale. We meet person after person, checking things off of an imaginary (or real) checklist, sometimes comparing them with an ex or ideal mate, ever carefully guarding their innermost parts as we try to find a space of love that will suit our needs and maybe some of our wants. Masks are carefully put in place, words are measured, outfits are ironed and on point, all while holding their breath, not letting too much go. We are terrified beyond belief to be open and exposed and vulnerable, because it is in that place that we can experience the greatest pain. If someone rejects an image that we portray, that’s one thing, but if someone rejects who we are at our core…. Life may as well be over – it’s like saying that who we are isn’t good enough. And Heaven forbid we give our heart to someone and they betray us via lies, infidelity, abuse, etc. This can destroy our desire and willingness to trust, which means that we have in essence taken out our lungs and given up our desire for air. But what happens when we take the risk of breathing? What happens when we find a situation and decide to trust the waters and jump in deep? What happens when we have prayed and discerned and decide to go for it? What does exhaling feel like? Well, take a deep breath and hold it for as long as you can. Eventually, you are gonna have to breathe. And your lungs will burn for that fresh air. You will experience great relief and refreshing as the air enters your lungs and the cycle of breathing resumes. Exhaling feels great, especially when you can breathe in deeply and release again. Finding real love and allowing yourself to rest in it is like exhaling after you’ve been holding your breath for a long time. Your entire body relaxes and begins to be refreshed by the life-giving love that is now able to flow through your veins, providing strength and nutrients. When you are not so busy guarding yourself that you allow love to enter, you may find yourself breathing a contented sigh of relief. How do you know when the relational situation you’ve found will be one that allows you to exhale? If you sit still long enough and let your heart speak, I believe you will feel something and you will just know. I read a tweet today that said, “My head screamed no. My heart whispered yes. Reality told me not to, but hope told me to give it a shot.” Sometimes things don’t look ideal and you feel like this might be a bad idea, but that may be the very place where you find your next breath. So trust your heart – it knows more than you think. And don’t let fear keep you from breathing when you find a promising situation. Even if it's not meant to be forever, the healing you experience from that breath could do you a world of good. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.