Day 112 - Slave

So, I was watching "I Love Lucy" with 2 of my sista friends, and it was the episode where the famiy returned home from Hollywood after Ricky made the movie.  People were going crazy for him, treating him like a celebrity.  A woman came for a magazine to interview Lucy, but the lady was only interested in Lucy "as she reflected him," asking about when she met him and essentially negating her life before him.  Lucy was offended, thinking that they should be interested in her as well.  The interviewer said that she must not understand how important Ricky was to the 160 million people in the country, 1/2 of whom are women who would love to be in her shoes.  She went on to say that, because of this, Lucy needed to make sure that his every need was met and that she should to see to his every whim. 
My friends and I clearly had objections as Lucy ate it all up and most of the remainder of the episode acting like his servant and slave.  We discussed the fact that it's important for partners to support and love each other, making sure that each takes care of the other, but there is no way that there will be servitude in any of our relationships.  She was going above and beyond out of fear and insecurity, trying to make sure that she kept her man happy lest some other woman catch his eye, especially with his new status of celebrity, and this is problematic too.  It's one thing to genuinely care for someone and want to make sure that their needs are met or that you cook for them, etc., but when it's done to make him/her stay, this is manipulation.
Ricky actually got sick of it, because she was treating him more like a boss and celebrity than her husband, and he wanted that relationship.  I appreciate this about him, because it shows that he actually cares for her and he doesn't just think that marriage is a way to get his needs met.  He decides to take his demands to the extreme so that she will get sick of it and go back to treating him like normal. 
In a romantic relationship, it is important that there is a sense of reciprocity and mutuality.  No one person is alive simply to meet the needs of another.  If the scales are unbalanced, then a relationship needs to be evaluated.  Now, people may not give equally in the same way, but as long as there is balance, that is a healthy sign.  If I always wash the dishes but my partner always takes out the trash, that can be a good balance as long as both people are comfortable with that.  The problem in such cases tends to be the outside influences that question a couple's way of doing things, and this can cause undo stress as it did in the case of Lucy and Ricky.  So be secure in your relationship and make sure that there is balance.  Take care of each other, and don't be anyone's slave or let anyone be yours.