I was hanging out with a friend yesterday, and she asked how I felt about the trend she’d seen among women of what she called Disney Princess worship. Then she read something to me to that really made me think:
Why was Snow White given a poisoned apple? To show us that not everyone is gonna be kind and not everyone is really who they say they are.
Why did Cinderella run away at midnight? To remind us that everything does have its limitations, even dreams.
Why did Ariel exchange her fins for feet? To show us that people are willing to give up anything to be with who they love just to be happy.
Why did Aurora sleep for 100 years? To tell us that you might have to wait for quite some time for your true love to come along, sometimes very long, but it’s worth it.
Why did Princess Jasmine fall for Aladdin? To let us know that what the heart wants, it wants no matter what.
Why was Belle in love with a Beast? To remind us that you can’t really help what’s on the outside, but if the inside is beautiful, then nothing will stand in the way of your love.
After all, inside every confident woman is A FRAGILE PRINCESS waiting to be saved.
As a little girl, I grew up being told about “happily ever after” with the prince and princess, but I quickly encountered reality where even Duke William and Duchess Kate do not enjoy the fairy tale perks that we typically associate with royalty. So I appreciate that people like an ideal, but I also know that those ideas speak more to who people would like to be than who they actually are, and thus, the above “lessons” from familiar Disney tales reflect some interesting “realities.” I will agree with the ones about Snow White and Jasmine, and the ones about Cinderella and Belle to a degree. With Cinderella, it’s true that everything may have some kind of limitation, but we don’t have to live within those limits. With Belle, some people let the outside get in the way. And there can be some internal things (like the Beast’s attitude) that need healing before love can take place (although love can be a healing agent as well).
But as for the others, I take great issue with the interpretation of their life lessons. Ariel gave up her fins in order to explore a new world and get in touch with a part of the world that she’d only had artifacts from. She happened to find love in the process, but being human was something she desired long before Eric came along. And it’s not as if she gave up the sea and her family. She just chose to live with her husband. I do agree with compromise in love, but I don’t think that giving up what is essential to self is a healthy display of love. As for Aurora, she didn’t sleep waiting for her love; she slept because she was under a spell. The fact that it took 100 years to break it had nothing to do with her – she was asleep. She wouldn’t know 10 minutes from 100 years.
And that last statement - after all, inside every confident woman is a fragile princess waiting to be saved – struck a chord in me that goes against much of what I will allow myself to believe. To me, that says no matter who a woman is and no matter her level of confidence and strength, inside she’s still just a damsel in distress who needs to be rescued by her Prince Charming and taken care of, because she’s unable to do it herself. You mean to tell me that every woman on earth needs a man? That every woman on earth is just waiting for someone to sweep her off her feet and care for her? Now, maybe it was my upbringing that made me into an independent sort, maybe it’s my womanist (and even at times feminist) tendencies, maybe it’s the fact that I have had some trust issues that make it hard for me to rely heavily on other people to “take care” of me… whatever the case may be, I have to resist the idea that all women are just waiting to be rescued, especially they are “fragile.” There’s nothing fragile about things like childbirth or female intuition, but for some reason, the idea has been perpetuated and portrayed that women are the “weaker” sex, in need of men to protect and take care of us.
The princesses I like are those in “Shrek the Third” who stepped outside the box of frilly damsels in distress. Cameron Diaz, who does the voice of Fiona, had this to say about the role of the princesses in the film: “That's what these fairy tales are for, to recognize what the values are and how society is constructed at the period of time those stories are being told. And current-day storytelling obviously is that. It's telling what currently we are as a society, how we perceive ourselves. I love that it's commenting on where we're at right now as women. It's also holding it up to our past. It's turning that on its ear but having fun with it, allowing them to grow into the women we are today. Taking them with us. Rather than saying, ‘You're completely wrong,’ it's saying ‘Here's the ability to change.’ At the same time, it's not just a message for princesses. It's a message for everyone, because we all need to know that you can't sit around and wait for someone to come make it happen for you. You have to be proactive in your own life.” (http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/2007-05-09-2684052854_x.htm)
So am I a princess? To a degree. I’m a princess to the degree that I know that I’m beautiful and I expect people to treat me with a level of respect and decency. At the same time, I have to see myself in the proper light in order for that to happen. If I see myself as a damsel in distress, I will attract people who want to save/rescue me as opposed to those who want to walk with and love me as I am. Do I like being spoiled? Sure. But it’s not something that I expect, because I know that I can handle mine, but for me, that’s part of being a princess. And really, I see myself as a queen. J Check your stereotypes and expectations…. Tomorrow, I will take this a step further.
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