Day 129 - Reason, Season, Lifetime

It’s been said that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and the longer I live, the more I believe that’s true.  I’ve had a fair amount of what I’ll call ‘relationship transition’ in my life, and the only reason I’m in contact with most of the people I knew before college is because of the phenomenon of Facebook.  For me, I think that the evolution I’ve taken in my lifetime has caused relationships to shift and end.  At first, I attributed this to my lack of worthiness (because when you have low self-esteem, you subconsciously look for things to confirm what you already think).  I figured that people were leaving my life because something was wrong with me (although at times, there was drama and friction that caused relationships to end).

With age and wisdom (2 things that I’ve found don’t always come together), I’ve discovered that relationships are not all meant to last forever.   Sometimes people are in our lives to teach us a certain lesson, and once we learn that lesson, that person is no longer required in our lives.  Sometimes people are there for a certain season (as in college friends or work friends at a particular job or people who are needed in a certain time of your life), and once that season ends, they no longer fit your life.  A problem presents itself when we try to make reason and season folks into lifetime friends.  As much as we might love them and care about them, they may do more harm than good if they enter a season that they were not meant to be in.  I believe that Madea spoke about a similar phenomenon with a tree/branch/leaf analogy.  Some people are leaves, and blow through our lives with the wind.  Some are branches who are a bit more stable but can still be pruned.  And some people are trees, meant to be planted in our lives for the long haul.

I invite you to take some time to evaluate your current relationships.  While most of our relationships don’t come with labels and written expiration dates, it is important to be sensitive to what is happening in your relationships.  This doesn’t mean to be suspicious of every relationship or to keep yourself from being fully invested for fear of the end.  It does mean, however, that when a relationship comes to a crossroads or appears to be ending, it is time to evaluate whether this was a reason, season, or lifetime situation.  Don’t be afraid to let go of relationships that have run their course.  At the same time, don’t be afraid to fight for those relationships that continue to add life to yours.  Only with wisdom, honesty, and discernment can you tell the difference.