Day 169 - What is Your Energy?

Masculine Energies

·         Creative focus

·         Purposeful presence

·         Desire for truth

·         Oriented towards visions and goals

·         In one’s mind and focused

·         Emotion of compassion

·         Looking at life from the outside

·         Fear of failure in life

·         Work before intimacy

·         Doing

·         Giving

Feminine Energies

·         Creative flow

·         Open and connected

·         Desire for sourcing and sustaining

·         Oriented toward love and care

·         In one’s emotions and flow

·         Emotion of trust and gratitude

·         Looking at things from within

·         Fear of rejection and loss of love

·         Intimacy before work

·         Being

·         Receiving

I look at these lists, and I see myself in both of them.  While I don’t always agree with concrete lines that define the genders (or any group for that matter), I can see where there are some patterns that tend to be associated with each gender that may apply in general ways.  I spent much time in my life avoiding and denying the feminine in myself and the value of femininity in general.  I was a tomboy for years, and even when I voluntarily put on a skirt (a rare moment to be sure), it was only an outward attempt to conform (and hopefully attract positive attention from a male).  For various reasons, I associated femininity with weakness, hysterics, constant weeping, emotionalism, vulnerability, and pain, and I wanted to stay far away from all those things.  Though I was biologically female, my mindset, my emotional make-up, my clothing, anything I could control became male energy-driven.  I rejected emotions, vulnerability, trust (though there were other factors involved in this one), failure, intimacy, etc.

 In looking at the lists, I can say that I was definitely more on the masculine side growing up.  Yet, as I’ve opened up and received healing in the way I think, feel, and relate, I’ve seen more of a balance of the two.  In looking at people I know, it’s interesting to see the levels of each per person, especially when they are in relationships.  These dynamics can be especially intriguing to observe in same-gender relationships, because even the “male” in a relationship can have female energy, and the “female” in a relationship can have male energy. 

While I previously resented being a female because of the stereotyped traits ascribed to it, I have happily learned to embrace the fact that gender is not a box into which people are born based on genitalia.  Gender is a social construct that works with (or against) whatever people are born within inside.  And I appreciate that God created (at least) 2 genders and the way their different energies flow.  I believe in balance in life, and I think that it’s cool that the energies can complement each other (be it in a person or in a relationship).  We’re not all meant to be the same or have the same perspective.  The fact that we have different ways of seeing things brings about new ideas and possibilities.

Let us appreciate each other for our differences.  Let us also realize that biology doesn’t always dictate energy, and genitalia doesn’t always create gender or identity (as it is traditionally defined).  Feel free to be who you are despite the prescribed roles and boundaries.  Admittedly, my aversion to femininity caused me to suppress part of myself, but now I can embrace myself as I appreciate the validity and beauty of both flows of energy, especially when they can work together as one.