Day 92 - Lesson Learned

While this is the second Alicia selection in 2 days, this one has a very different feel than the one from yesterday.  Today's song is about the tougher side of love - the end of it.  While it would be wonderful if we were only in 1 romantic relationship our whole lives, if we only had lifelong friends and relationships without end, if there was  no such concept as heartbreak, the unfortunate reality of life is that at some point or another, someone will break our hearts.  But, being a slight optimist, I try to look on the bright side of even those dark days.  That is why this song by Alicia Keys strikes a bit of a chord with me. 
Yes, a broken heart is a painful thing, but on the positive side, "Yes I was burned but I called it a lesson learned. Mistake overturned, so I call it a lesson learned.  My soul has returned, so I call it a lesson learned.  Another lesson learned."  We can/should always learn something from each relationship we encounter.  We may learn how to love ourselves, how to trust someone, how to recognize patterns (good or bad), how to trust our instincts, how to be intimate without sex, how to express ourselves better, or even how to let go of something that's unhealthy even when we still want it.  Either way, we should gain something from each friendship and romantic relationship that we engage.
"Sometimes some lies can take a minute to fully realize - his tears, your eyes. Thirty seconds to apologize. You give it one more chance, just like the time before, but he already know you'd give a hundred more, until that night in bed - you wake up in a sweat, you're racing to the door, can't take it anymore."  For me, this is the most powerful point of the song.  It talks about how we can sometimes love to the point where we forgive and we allow things, and the person takes advantage of our love with flowers or candy or a "heart-felt apology."  But then one day, something in us finally clicks and says, "no! I deserve more than this and I will not continue to settle for what I have."  To me, that is powerful.  Even though earlier verses say that someone had been telling her for a minute, it's not until we get it for ourselves and we ourselves decide that enough is enough that change can happen. 
Until we love ourselves enough to want and work for me, we won't get it.
Consider your past and even current relationships.  Are there lessons that need to be gleaned for your healing and personal/relational growth?  As I think through my own romantic relationships (I'm only counting official ones), I realize that (in chronological order) they each taught me things: 1. you are beautiful just as you are  2. love can come in forms you don't expect  3. no one can complete you - you must love yourself  4. you are worthy of love just because you exist and because of who you are - you don't have to earn it  5. you must take care of you and recognize where you are and what you need.  With each of these lessons in mind, I am empowered to move forward, improving as an individual so that hopefully my next romantic relationship will be better than the previous ones (not that they were all bad) and maybe even be the final one. 
Don't get bitter, get better...